I have the biggest crush  ever on this song. 

Super into lately:

           "Having perfected our disguise, we spend our lives searching for someone we don't fool."
                                                                      -Robert Brault

That time I completely related to Dennis. 

These  quotes are so adamantly backed by me.

Duchovny  with a beard, as if I wasn't already mad about him.




"I shaved for nothing" by Olivia Alonso Gough
I think that says it all, doesn't it?

This Flash sheet by Derick James totally captures who I am as a person.

-This is the guide I used when creating my capsule wardrobe, don't worry it is way less daunting than it seems. I used to have so  much unnecessary clothing and none of it made me feel beautiful or really served a purpose. But this capsule project has really helped me stop spending my money so poorly and invest in items that really help me feel and look my best.
Still unsure? She has a great FREE wardrobe planner to get started

-Meet Adriene I have been doing her 30 days of yoga challenge and it has drastically altered my day to day life. She is funny, warm, and relaxing. I love her.

-This recipe for mint cold brew by Hanna is seriously life changing. So refreshing and delicious. I'm totally obsessed. 

-If you're anything like me you may have been in somewhat of a writers block, oh, for about the last five years. Here are some tips to get over, and kill, your writers block.

 -Need advice on how to decorate your rental?  Let this article be your go-to.

-This is my first summer ever having air conditioning, and I can totally vouch for this article about living without it!

-Melanie Berliet totally nailed it in this article about moving in with your significant other.

CURRENTLY READING: Eating Animals  By Jonathan Safran Foer

holy matrimony! (pt.3)

 

before I forget, our photographer was our sweet friend Mariah Kay Day, and I could never ever thank her enough for capturing our big day so beautifully!

holy matrimony! (pt.2)

we danced to Adam Sandler's "I want to grow old with you", our friends gave beautiful speeches,

the ceremony and reception were both held on the rooftop of the Playground in downtown Tucson.
We honestly could not have picked a better venue, or a better staff, everyone we had the pleasure of working with was so understanding, flexible, inspiring, and warm. We felt so honored to be there, and so relaxed because we had such an excellent team that put all our worries to rest.
Seriously Leah was such a saint and there are no words describe my respect, love, or admiration, for all she did not only for our wedding, but for us too.

holy matrimony!

If you can believe it, it's already been almost two months since Keith and I said 'I do'. Time really does fly right by you when you're having fun. I remember our wedding day feeling like a dream, or like we were just playing wedding. I just couldn't believe we were really getting married and now I still feel like that, Keith and I both still catch ourselves going: "hey remember that time we got married?"

Our ceremony was short, and sweet, and to the point. We went a very nontraditional route, (to no ones surprise I'm sure!) I walked down the aisle to the Game of Thrones theme song, and our officiator was a new age, nondenominational, friend of his mom's. We both chose quotes to read to one another instead of vows. I read Keith this Henry Rollins quote, and Keith read me this Joss Whedon Buffy quote. 

Nobodies role model: a sap story.

All my life I have tried to avoid being anyone’s role model.
I was in the sixth grade the first time someone told me I was their hero. I was eleven and had just become fast friends with some girl… We’ll call her Chloe.
Chloe came out of nowhere ditched her old friends and started hanging out with me. She told me I was her hero, she started dressing like me. At first I helped her pick out clothes and then I realized I didn’t want Chloe to look like me because I liked her how she was, but that was too complex an emotion for me at eleven so I did the mature thing and just stopped answering her calls.
Forever.
All my life I have never wanted to be anyone’s role model.
I have a cousin who is four years younger who used to come live with me during the summers from when I was ten until I was about seventeen; she too adopted my look, and my attitude, and my vernacular.
I was a shitty role model and we got into a whole heap of trouble but she now has a job, a cat, goes to college and lives on her own. So maybe I wasn’t all that bad.
All my life I never wanted to be anyone’s role model.
I was seventeen when I took over my first beginning drama class, I directed their one act, I designed their blocking, I did all of their warm ups, I helped them choose and write their own monologues.
I was eighteen when I wrote, blocked, directed, and starred in my very own first play. I was eighteen when one of the girls I casted gave me the
“I’m cooler than everyone and I know it award”
And told me I was her hero and her inspiration on a microphone in front of everyone and I cried.
So maybe I’m not all that bad.
I was nineteen when one of my students from my very first beginning drama class told me that she had become a student state officer for drama and wanted to thank me for keeping her out of trouble and on the right track and inspiring her.
So maybe I am not all that bad.
Still, all my life I have never wanted to be anyone’s role model.
I was twenty-one when I sat in my friend Hannah’s car and told her about how I tried to commit suicide when I was twenty and she got mad and frustratedly told me I don’t know the impact I have on people’s lives and shouldn’t be selfish with my life. 

I am twenty-two now, and I still don’t want to be anyone’s role model.
But today one of my students, an eight year old, said to me:

"Ms. Breeann, look I got glasses just like you! My vans are all black like your vans!"
And I laughed and said
“Why dear? People will start thinking we’re twins!”
And she looked at me and very seriously said 

"I want them to. You’re my hero." 

Eight years old is the most honest age and I can’t help but feel like maybe I’m not all that bad.

Ten years, a reflection.

Have you ever been asked "What would your middle school self think of who you are now?" it seems to be one of those questions that floats around social media sites and boring parties. In my experience that question usually receives a lot of sappy sentimental responses, filled with gooey trips down memory lane.
However, my answer has always been a very assured:

"Twelve year old me would want to kick my ass."

When I was twelve I very much so believed in the power of Punk Rock, being a know-it-all, and telling everyone exactly what was on my mind as it was on my mind. 'Poser' was my favorite word and the very concept that someone could like more than one genre of anything was completely out of the question. Fishnets and plaid skirts were staples, and god forbid I was ever caught dead in any other shoe than a Chuck Taylor. I was close minded and cruel, I was also the most picked on kid in school.
Now at twenty-two I still believe in the power of Punk Rock, I still believe in letting people have a piece of your mind...if not all the time, I still love a good pair of beat up Chuck Taylor's. However at twenty-two I definitely have accepted my deep admiration, and dare I say love, for Pop and Hip-hop music. At twenty-two I've found myself to be extremely open-minded and generally accepting of others. Despite all belief I've actually made a friend or two here and there.
Now I know twelve year old me would definitely be proud of all of my tattoos...if not totally disappointed that I got a The Smiths tattoo before I got a The Cure tattoo. Twelve year old me would love my red hair, and all the writing on my walls. Twelve year old me would definitely throw a major nod to my record collection, and that I finally have a record player even though she'd hate that it's pink floral. I also know that twelve year old me would be so into the fact that I'm with someone who looks like Keith, even though twelve year old me was so against marriage. She'd probably tell me something snotty like:

"He's hot and all but you're stupid. Don't ever get married, being married is like dying. You're too young to die already."

Which would irritate twenty-two year old me and also make me laugh.

When I think back on me at twelve I have mixed feelings. On one hand I totally understand that I was a complete handful at best, and on the other I feel like I was just generally misunderstood which is okay because I STILL feel generally misunderstood. When I was twelve I was bullied to the point that my mother had to pull me out of school early because someone had brought a knife on my bus. I just had a lot going on in my life and in my head then.I remember I used to sit in my closet to hide from my family/ the world and I would plot my big escape when I would run away from everything and everyone. But instead of run away I made a really great friend out of an old enemy, her name was Taylor.
When I was about sixteen I saw some street art downtown that said:

"Be the kind of person you needed growing up."

It was a total gut-check because it was one of those things that said everything I had been feeling but hadn't found the words for yet.
All of the intense bullying I went through at twelve made way for the person I am today. Sure, I am still leery of just about everyone, I am still a sarcastic know-it-all. But I know that when it comes down to it, for what it's worth, I am one hell of a listener and an objective one for that point. I am slow to judge those around me based on who they are in a moment of emotion. I believe in getting to the root of things even if it takes a long time to get there.
At twenty-two I am the kind of person who will strap in and hang around for the whole ride, I don't give up on people. I like that about me and I think twelve year old me would like that about me too, albeit begrudgingly.
At twenty-two I know how to handle other people with great care and acceptance because a complicated snot-nosed twelve year old needed someone like me to stick around after she had said all of the meanest things about me just cause she was, ya know, a little weird and liked to see what people were made of.

So what would my middle school self think of me now?

She would think I was a sell-out, she would definitely think I am a poser, she would want to kick my ass for wearing Hollister jeans, and although you wouldn't hear it from her she'd probably actually kind of like me and if I was lucky maybe she'd kind of look up to me too.