I haven’t been single for over six months since I was thirteen. Now I get asked dating advice on the daily, so here’s 10 unofficial rules I’ve always followed that work for me.
1.) Hold yourself accountable to your own excellence.
Relying on others to tell you how great you are all the time isn’t cute.
2.) Go after what you want.
There’s this misconception for women that being chased is more appropriate than doing the chasing. But the thing is if you snooze you lose.
The worst that can happen is you’re told no. But at least you know where you stand.
Also if you ask your interest out? You pay. No exceptions.
3.) Dress to impress.
If you don’t want your interest to see you as just a buddy don’t show up looking ratchet.
I’m not saying you have to be fancy, but brush your teeth and hair and make sure there are no stains on your clothes.
4.) Pay attention.
Listen to what your interest has been saying to you, you’d be surprised how much it means when you remember little things.
“Hey I remembered your exam is today, good luck!”
Also following up a few days later doesn’t hurt.
“I know you were having a hard time with (blank) the other day, how’s that going? Are you feeling better?”
It’s so refreshing when you feel genuinely heard.
5.) Be yourself…unless you’re a fucking douchebag.
Honestly someone who is comfortable in themselves is way more attractive to me than someone who tries to like everything I’m interested in.
Another misconception is that you have to become one with your partner. Being with someone isn’t about becoming one being. Your spouse is dating you for YOU. It’s about learning what they’re world is like while they learn what your world is like too.
If you do it right you’ll look up one day and realize you’re world and their world has no definitive end or beginning, they just blend.
6.) Be intuitive.
Are you always texting them first?
How often do they reply?
Are they not texting you back?
Multiple messages,calls, and emails are NOT the answer.
Facebook/Instagram/Twitter/Tumblr stalking will NOT make you feel better.
Take a breather, and remember that people exterminate bugs and pests. You have your own life to live. Don’t get lost in someone else.
7.) Be flirty.
If you think someone is a babe? Tell them. Last I checked people don’t get tired of being told how attractive they are. Is that barista cute? Let him know.
Like your waitress’ hair? Let her know.
There’s no shame in your game, but be respectful and not a fucking savage. Don’t tell a stranger how great her breasts look.
Save that for once they’re yours.
8.) Be honest in your intentions.
If you think someone is cute and want to get to know them better tell them.
Do you want to be exclusive with them? Tell them.
Are you not looking for anything serious? Tell them.
It’s hard but being honest is way better than being a liar.
Even if your intentions with each other don’t match up at least they won’t think you’re a prick for using them.
9.) Be respectful of your partner.
I don’t care if your partner takes astrology so seriously that her whole day revolves on whether or not Saturn is aligned with whatever. Be respectful of that.
Is your partner a hardcore feminist? Respect that.
Dating outside your religion? Respect their beliefs.
Yes you may argue, yes you can disagree. But do not try to change someone so that their life fits yours better.
10.) If you’re going to bail? Bail early.
Breaking up is hard to do but someone’s got to do it.
You can’t be with someone just because you don’t want to hurt their feelings. For the love of god tell them, even if it’s a fucking text. That’s better than just disappearing on somebody. It’s a lot easier to forgive someone for breaking your heart after two months than it is to forgive someone after two years.
All of this can be summed up nicely in three parts:
Don’t be a pansy.
Boom. Handled. Now go forth my children!